Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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