this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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