This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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