yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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