and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
