Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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