any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
