so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
