Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize