They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize