Are we in a gay sports bar?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
