why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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