she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
