Sry I called you an 8
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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