That's when you crack a 10am beer
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
