i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
