k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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