I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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