so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
