Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
