TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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