he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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