Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this just has baby written all over it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
