My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
