I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
