party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My bed smells like the plague
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
