As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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