i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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