were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
