I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
