So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
