Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Im part way to drunk.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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