Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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