no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
