One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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