Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize