That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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