I puked a lego.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
