I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
