he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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