today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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