okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
