i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
COCAINE IS GR8
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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