The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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