You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
