when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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