He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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