They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
