He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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