last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
