He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I bet he comes in French.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
