YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
