Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
