And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
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Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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