My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
