I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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