i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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