it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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