bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
