she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
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Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.